Fireproof Your Marriage: A 40-Day Challenge

Marriage, a sacred institution designed by God, has faced relentless attacks from the enemy since the Garden of Eden. From the moment God united Adam and Eve, the enemy has sought to disrupt and destroy this beautiful covenant. Yet, God’s grace equips us to withstand these attacks and honor the vows we made to our spouses.

As someone blessed to have been married to the wife of my youth for 14 years, I can testify to the challenges and attacks we’ve faced. Over time, I’ve learned valuable lessons and tools to nurture and safeguard my marriage. One such tool is the Fireproof Your Marriage challenge, inspired by the movie Fireproof.

In the film, Caleb’s father gives him a book with a 40-day challenge that transforms Caleb’s struggling marriage. This challenge is a powerful resource to help couples restore and strengthen their marriages. Fireproof doesn’t mean that fires won’t come—it means you’ll be prepared to withstand them. I have personally incorporated this challenge into my daily life, using it not just to fight fires but to prevent them from igniting.

If you’re ready to strengthen your marriage, this 40-day challenge can help. Embrace it with prayer, humility, and commitment, and watch as God works wonders in your relationship.

Fireproof Your Marriage: The 40-Day Challenge

Day 1

Resolve to say nothing negative about your spouse today.
Ephesians 4:2
“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.”

Day 2

Do at least one unexpected gesture to your spouse as an act of kindness.
Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Day 3

Buy your spouse something that says, ‘I was thinking about you today.’
Romans 12:10
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

Day 4

Contact your spouse during the day to ask how they’re doing and if you can help them in any way.
Psalm 139:17-18
“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.”

Day 5

Ask your spouse to share three things that irritate or hurt them about you. Listen without defensiveness.
Proverbs 27:14
“Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing.”

Day 6

Choose to react with love instead of irritation in tough situations.
Proverbs 16:32
“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”

Day 7

Write down positive attributes about your spouse and thank them for one of these today.
1 Corinthians 13:7
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Day 8

Celebrate your spouse’s recent success.
Song of Solomon 8:6
“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.”

Day 9

Greet your spouse with love and enthusiasm today.
1 Peter 5:14
“Greet one another with the kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ.”

Day 10

Do something out of the ordinary to show love to your spouse.
Romans 5:8
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Day 11

Meet a specific need your spouse has today.
Ephesians 5:28
“In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Day 12

Lovingly give in to an area of disagreement today.
Philippians 2:4
“Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.”

Day 13

Establish healthy rules of engagement for disagreements.
Mark 3:25
“And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.”

Day 14

Sacrifice an activity to spend quality time with your spouse.
Ecclesiastes 9:9
“Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun.”

Day 15

Show Honor and Respect Beyond Your Routine.
Find ways to go above and beyond in showing your spouse honor and respect.
1 Peter 3:7
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Day 16

Pray for Three Areas in Your Spouse’s Life.
Ask God to work in three specific areas of your spouse’s life and marriage.
3 John 2
“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”

Day 17

Guard Your Spouse’s Secrets.
Be a protector of your spouse’s trust and pray for them.
Proverbs 17:9
“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”

Day 18

Prepare a Special Dinner.
Dedicate time to prepare a meaningful meal and focus on getting to know your spouse better.
Proverbs 3:13
“Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding.”

Day 19

Ask God to Reveal Your Standing with Him.
Reflect on your relationship with God and ask for strength and grace.
1 John 4:7
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.”

Day 20

Trust God Completely.
Dare to take God at His word and trust Him for your salvation and guidance in marriage.
Romans 5:6
“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.”

Day 21

Pray and Read the Bible.
Make time to commune with God through prayer and scripture reading.
Isaiah 58:11
“And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.”

Day 22

Love Unconditionally.
Choose to show love even if your spouse is distant.
Hosea 2:20
“I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.”

Day 23

Remove Hindrances to Your Relationship.
Eliminate anything that steals your affections or distracts you from your spouse.
1 Corinthians 13:7
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Day 24

Eliminate Lustful Distractions.
Identify and remove objects of lust from your life.
1 John 2:17
“And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

Day 25

Forgive Your Spouse Completely.
Release any lingering unforgiveness in your heart.
2 Corinthians 2:10
“Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ.”

Day 26

Seek Forgiveness.
Confess your faults to God and humbly admit them to your spouse.
Romans 2:1
“Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.”

Day 27

Apologize for Unrealistic Expectations.
Acknowledge areas where you’ve placed undue pressure on your spouse.
Psalm 25:20
“Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.”

Day 28

Meet Your Spouse’s Greatest Need.
Identify and fulfill a pressing need in your spouse’s life.
1 John 3:16
“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.”

Day 29

Pray Specifically for Your Spouse.
Lift up their name and needs in prayer before seeing them today.
Ephesians 6:7
“Rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man.”

Day 30

Ask God to Reveal Any Threats to Unity.
Seek clarity about anything hindering your oneness and address it with your spouse.
John 17:11
“Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one.”

Day 31

Make Your Marriage a Top Priority
Commit to God and your spouse to make your marriage the highest priority among all human relationships. Reflect on the divine design of marriage as you honor this covenant.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” — Genesis 2:24

Day 32

Honor Your Spouse Through Intimacy
If possible, initiate physical intimacy in a way that honors your spouse and reflects the sanctity of your bond.
“The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.” — 1 Corinthians 7:3

Day 33

Seek Your Spouse’s Counsel
Share with your spouse your desire to include them in upcoming decisions. Let them know their perspective is valuable and cherished.
“If two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?” — Ecclesiastes 4:11

Day 34

Recognize Their Christian Character
Commend your spouse for a recent moment where they demonstrated Christ-like character. Speak words of encouragement and affirmation.
“Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.” — 1 Corinthians 13:6

Day 35

Find a Christian Marriage Mentor
Pray and seek out a mentor who can provide spiritual guidance for your marriage. Trust God to lead you in this decision.
“Without counsel, plans fail, but with many advisers, they succeed.” — Proverbs 15:22

Day 36

Commit to Reading the Bible Together
Encourage your spouse to join you in reading scripture daily. Together, let God’s Word illuminate your path.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” — Psalm 119:105

Day 37

Pray Together as a Couple
Ask your spouse if you can begin a habit of praying together. Agreeing in prayer strengthens both your relationship with God and with each other.
“Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” — Matthew 18:19

Day 38

Plan to Fulfill a Desire
Identify something your spouse truly desires, and create a plan to fulfill it if it aligns with God’s will.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” — Psalm 37:4

Day 39

Write a Letter of Commitment
Spend time in personal prayer, reflecting on your commitment to your spouse. Write them a heartfelt letter reaffirming your love and dedication.
“Love never ends.” — 1 Corinthians 13:8

Day 40

Renew Your Vows
Write a renewal of your vows and place them in your home as a visible reminder of your promises to each other and to God.
“Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.” — Ruth 1:16

Marriage is a gift, a covenant, and a reflection of God’s relationship with us. Protecting it requires intentionality, prayer, and selflessness. Through this 40-day journey, may you find strength, healing, and joy in your marriage, knowing that God is with you every step of the way.

Are you ready to fireproof your marriage? Take the challenge, and watch God work miracles in your life and relationship.